07.26.03 11:57 am

Worrying

sometimes i worry too much. that alone causes me a whole lot of problems. why can't i just say "i'm not gonna care . . . do whatever the fuck you want", but i can't. and it's weird bc i'm so laid back and there's a ton of things that i just don't give a damn about and then when it comes to even some of the smallest actions of people i care about i go crazy. well . . . not crazy, but it bugs me. and like i'll mention how it bothers me once or twice then i let it go. if i say something and no one listens the first couple times, why bother after that? plus it's thier life and i have no business thinking that someone's actions are gonna change just because i suggest that it's not such a great idea. i need to stop that.

i talked to Cannabis on thurs and yeah . . . i think he's mainly the reason why i'm upset. i dont know what it is exactly, but a lot gets to me. and i told him and he says "yeah i know" or "i don't need this from you right now". and i talked to him again a couple of minutes ago (like normal just talking to say hey) and same story. i think he does it to get to me. yep . . . that's gotta be it.

i hate caring so much

~*BlueStarLoser

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