08.12.03 11:15 pm

A Little Hope

me and Cobain haven't been doin too well lately. well hmm . . . we're okay, it's just that we don't get to talk much now that i'm working and it's hard to get together period bc we both get out of work at weird times.

anyway, i just checked my messages (i saw that i had some but i was in my own little mad world and didn't want to know who called or what they wanted and junk) and anyway, he left me the sweetest message. i guess i do have some hope in guys or he restored a little bit of it or something. i just don't have hope in the crappy ones that use women and treat us like shit. i hope i'm not making a mistake about Cobain. that would really suck and yeah . . . i have no clue what in the worlf i would do.

i guess the best thing about me and him is that we started out as friends writing emails back and forth and stuff, then phone calls as friends, then actually hanging out with each other as friends. even if he pissed me off, i think i'd still remain friends with him. me and MySweetness immediately jumped into the relationship part. well we knew we were interested in each other as a "more than friend" type of thing after two minutes of being together. i guess that's just some more of the proof that relationships that start as a "relationship" can't end as "friends", but the ones that start as "friends" then move to the "relationship" at least have some hope as "friends". i don't know.

i guess i'm just a little excited to hear from him period. and i'm holding on to the fact that he is exactly the opposite of MySweetness. wish me luck and if not, don't expect me to be out on the dating scene for a freakin long time. or maybe i just need to date period. i'll figure it out.

~*BlueStarLoser

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